Pokemon Black- Random Encounter Rate: 9001%

If I run into another pokemon in this goddamn cave so help me Arceus-So after wandering around for hours trying to figure out the super obvious way of getting to the cave, (hint WALK STRAIGHT UP TO IT.) I finally get into the Chargestone Cave. Bianca, who has been demoted into stalking people and calling herself their bodyguards, shows up with Professor Juniper who basically tells me :

A) Nothing I don’t know already

B) Nothing particularly valuable or plot relevant

C) Both

Then, as generally happens in Pokemon, ninjas show up.

Wait what.

Because this happens all the time right?

Anyway it’s not like they matter because they pretty much flash step away as soon as they take me to N. Who was standing directly in the middle of the path I was walking on. And it was the only available path. So they showed up why again?

Well I kick N’s ass pretty easily and after spewing some “POKEMON ARE OUR FRIENDS LETS FORCE THEM APART FROM THEIR TRAINERS BY FIGHTING THEM WITH MORE POKEMON THAT I JUST CAUGHT AND MY ORGANIZATION WHO CAUGHT A FUCKING AWFUL LOT OF WATCHOGS ARE THERE LIKE NO OTHER POKEMON NO WAIT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LECTURING YOU UH…. GOOD BYE.”

Then there’s a few problems with the gym leader. Skyla, first of all, feels the need to disappear from her gym and go to the resident bell tower so that they developers can shoehorn the obligatory Pokemon cemetery into this game. After trolling up and down and getting attacked by ghost pokemon every step, Skyla returns to her gym, which brings  me to my second point.

Whoever designed these gyms, like in-game, was either insane or sadistic, but he definitely wanted you killed.

Cannons guys.

You get around this gym by being shot out of cannons.

HOW IS THIS SAFE EVER?

Is there no Union of Trainers that prevents you from being shot into the air at 50 mph and landing (aka shattering your knees) on a tiny platform directly across the gym?

After simultaneously breaking every bone in  my body, I challenge and beat Skyla.